Acceptance of 'that' state/being/feeling/eternity/contentment/+ is who you are.

It amazes me just how much Osho left behind. I can't keep up with all the new book releases from audio transcripts. But they're so lovely.


Fortunately I've reached the stage of contentment at my current level. Seeking further input in the 'enlightenment' genre is unnecessary.


Zen is a method. Its a way to remove clutter and fog. Quoting Zen rules, methods is not really practicing Zen. Its describing it.


Zen offers a simple method. Focus on Breathing. Stay present with yourself and observe that process. Merge into the stillness and just sit.


A lot of Zen has clutter as well believe it or not. I'm a hack. I read a bit. Liked the idea. Did the focus on breathing. And voila!


If I was asked to talk about Zen It would soon appear that I didn't know much. that's a blessing. I didn't get lost in the hype or dogma.


How does one know when you've completed the journey? You accept what you've found. You love what you've found. Doubt no longer exists.


Death is not an issue anymore. One doesn't seek it - one doesn't fear it. Why? Acceptance of who you are and the eternity of your beingness.


How do you know if you've completed your seeking? There is no need for defending. There is no need for quoting or convincing. Job Done~whew.


However, while seeking one should be prepared to die trying to find the answer. Without the passion of seeking it just won't come alone.


Seeking should be your number one priority over everything! But take regular breaks. Stop completely at times.


If you've reached a point of total satisfaction with your beingness(sitting in silence emerged in your being) stay there. Nearly there.


When ready the next step is Acceptance of 'that' state/being/feeling/eternity/contentment/+ is who you are.


That final step is no longer important how long it takes. One is content with 'that'. Perhaps a small ripple will take you into 'that' 4ever.


~ extracted from my twitter postings. Seems easier in the right order and it just came out right.

The Power of Weight Training

Many years ago I could train nearly every day. I would get stronger, fitter, more flexible. In short a really good Kung Fu Artist / Athlete. I would hardly ever feel over-trained, or tired. I just felt really fit and healthy.

Then I became involved in weight-training.

In the beginning it wasn't too bad as I wasn't going really heavy. But as I became stronger I was faced with a choice: Kung-fu or weight-training. At the time I chose kung fu.

However, a few years later I returned to weight training. I got the bug. I was totally passionate. I bought all the magazines on body-building. Read all the articles. I tried all sorts of different routines.

In the end I came to a level of immense strength for me. But the price was looking like Charlie Bronson, The notorious british criminal. A burly streetfighter.

I wanted something a lot more sleek and refined. However, to build up size I read that one had to bulk up the calories. So I force feed myself extra chicken and rice every day. I went from a super fit 64kg to 83kg of bulky muscle.

In that time I went through these cycles: 4-5 weeks of increasing strength followed by picking up some cold or minor injury setback. I found this incredibly frustrating. I was just looping around.

Many years later, having fluctuated with my weight from 70kg to 78kg I could no longer train. My joints had reached a point of allergy to the weight training. I was getting searing pain down my forearms on a lot of exercises. Even resting for 6 months didn't help.

So my passion for weight-training and body-building had been forced to come to an end. I have osteo-arthritis. I have it contained through good eating practices. But its there if I'm not careful.

So I went on a journey to find alternatives to weights. Isometrics, using own bodyweight and a few others. None really helped much.

I was able to keep a bit of strength but not much with some mild training.

This went on for about 5 years. With the last 3 years with almost no weight-training.

About 9 months ago I went back to the gym. I took it easy. I took it slow. I seemed to be able to handle the weights again. I had been using a form of isometrics with movement. Sort of self-induced tension on movements. So I think this helped heal my all-round situation.

Anyway, I was back in the game. Although on the whole my joints held out, I was still back in this loop of setbacks. Mainly picking up colds and pulled muscles.

I had reduced my workouts to once a week, whole body, few exercises. But this appeared to still be too much for my nervous system to cope with.

Eventually I managed to find a way to train twice a week. I joined up a full membership which included Free access to our local swimming pool. I taught myself Total Immersion Swimming. A beautiful way to swim.

So I tried balancing my workouts with swimming and weights. Yet I still hit this wall. Also my joint pains started returning as well. So once again very frustrating.

So I decided to try something quite different. Instead of doing the whole body in one workout with about 10-12 exercises, I reduced it down to 6 movements per workout.

These 6 exercises turned out to be best done every 10 days.

Penny begins to drop


So I realised that I'd reached a point of extreme stimulation with a single workout. Such stimulation that my whole body needed 10 days to recover from 6 exercise workouts! I would hazard an educated guess and say it is probably several factors: age, muscle memory, and nervous system overload.

So it made sense to me to try spitting the 6 exercises into 3 exercises per workout. Working the 6 exercises within a 10 day period.

So for the past 2 weeks I have been using this method. I have now had 3 workouts. In that time as I'm working through those 2 weeks I've realised a few things.

Firstly, if 6 exercises overloads my nervous system affecting my immune system and ability to recover from the training, then 6 is too much. The body can't cope with the overload. It then can't recover the muscle breakdown very quickly. While attempting to repair, the immune system is lowered, leaving a window open to pick up something or develop a cold. Also if there is a mild breakdown in the ligaments and tendons, it fails to repair that damage as well. I could sense that although I had increased in mass a bit, my body found it quite a struggle to achieve that. It was costing too much from my reserves.

Secondly, if one switches to 3 the body has half the work to do. Yet that half seems to be even less than half. The speed of recovery, repair, growth and new strength has been completed in around 3 days. That's 3 times faster. The body can just focus on repairing the breakdown of a few areas. It does so quickly and efficiently. To me it felt the same as if I was 32 again. I sensed that I could go and do the other 3 exercises within 3-4 days of the previous workout. Its possible I could split this further but I'm not so sure.

The 3 exercises I've chosen are compound exercises. That is they train more than one body part at a time. Lat Pulldown for instance trains upper back, shoulders, chest, biceps and forearms. So I would do that on the day of the first 3 exercises. Then do bent over rows on a diagonal bench. Working the middle back muscles, shoulders, biceps and forearms.

As the two exercises above illustrate, the back needs to recover from the workouts on both occasions. Thus requiring days off in between workouts. Sticking in a workout too early won't allow proper recover. I'd be perhaps back to square one. But probably still worth a months experimenting if I feel the need to do so.

So the 3 exercise routine seems to be optimum for me right now. As I get stronger I will see if I need further days off. It might require 2 exercise - 2 days off - 2 exercises - 2 days off etc.

The formula will always be if I'm not giving my own body the time to recover then I need to reduce the load.

Most articles I've read say the muscle should have recovered fully in 48 hours. I would say from personal experience its more than this if one has overloaded the nervous system.

Beginning to see the light


I must say in the last week I feel my body is coping properly to the stimulation. I have totally underestimated the power of that stimulation. I am pretty strong still and I put in a heavy workout each time I go in. Even with lengthy layoffs its the same. I'm learning now I can achieve the results I want doing so much less.

As I have other interests I am not obsessing about weight-training all week. I can do my swims, treadmill runs, tai chi practice.

After each workout I am feeling that buzz of just the right stimulation. I can feel my body can cope with that stimulation quite easily.

What's going to be very interesting is to see if I can reach the kind of peak strength of 18 years ago. I don't need to but it will be interesting. Also to see if my body will grow in the right places. Shaping and defining.

After all my goal is to be strong yet well-balanced in physique. A physique that looks right. Not one that looks bulky or fierce or forced. Something very natural, calved from years of hard work.

Workout One

Lat pulldowns 1 warm up set and 3 progressively heavier sets. 8-12 reps

Dumbbell Presses slight incline. 1 warm up set 3 progressively heavier sets. 8-12 reps

Dumbbell curls two arms at once. 1 warm up set 3 progressively heavier sets. 8-12 reps.

Workout two


Dumbbell Shoulder Presses Single arm. 1 warm up set and 3 progressively heavier sets. 8-12 reps.

Bent-over rows on diagonal upright bench low grip. 1 warm up set and 3 progressively heavier sets. 8-12 reps.

Parallel Bar dips. V-shaped bar on the wider end. 1 warm up set and 3 progressively heavier sets. 8-12 reps using weights.


If time I will do a good stretch warm down, some stomach work. I might precede the workout with a treadmill run. Still working on that one as I've had knee problems.

The ultimate Book

Well after many many years of reading I have yet to find this book.

I'm sure I'm not alone in this quest.

I have in the past bought a book, loved it, finished it; yet still had that lingering unsatisfied feeling. The unquenchable thirst for the ultimate answer to many topics. Topics such as: Procrastination; following your dreams; zen, tai chi; books on the path to enlightenment and so on.

This unquenchable thirst began to die down in the zen and enlightenment category. Once I reached a very simple, uncluttered space in my being, I no longer had any drive to search for more. This culminated in an eventual fusion with this 'single beingness'.

So that baby is now off the list....:)

I do love reading so even after finding the 'inner sanctuary', reading new books still interest me.

I admit I go through phases of not reading for around 2-3 weeks. But then I begin again.

Currently, I am interested in the phrase 'staying power'. The ability to start a project, stick with it, feed it with consistent hours of labour, until completed.

The usual search throws up topics that are not what you are looking for. But then Amazon threw me a bone with 'Super staying power'.

I'm about half way through. The introduction didn't set me alight but once into the first chapter I knew this book would help me see things differently when applying some real staying power on a goal/project.

It moves away from the usual cliche on the subject. Its kept me very interested so far. Although time will tell if it will make an impact in the area of staying power.

I believe in being informed on a subject. Explanations on the logical reasons of why projects struggle to get completed. Long lengthy explanations on the preciousness of time haven't cut it with me so far. In fact time now is about maximising your personal enjoyment of your week. I like books like 'the 4 hour work week'. Freeing up one's time to do stuff we really want to but feel there's no extra time.

The above is a contradiction. Time is precious, but some of the explanations I've read as to why, haven't connected with me.

My most sought after jewel was finding out about my inner being. Now that topic is full of contradictions. But with perseverance one can find some precious nuggets.

One Author I shall mention is Osho. Not strictly an author as his books are carefully chosen extracts from the 100's of talks he gave on all sorts of subject. I have read around 9 of his books.

I found the reading had a profound effect on me which was agreeable and non-threatening. The subject was primarily on beingness, enlightenment and life in general.

I only stopped at 9 because I felt I wanted to allow other authors and subjects in. Also I don't want to be doing all reading and no action.

However, his books prepared me very well for accepting my own 'breakthrough'.

In a way I like the fact that a single book often doesn't crack the nut alone. This then allows one to read further on the subject with other viewpoints.

Yet having said that its quite refreshing to not be chasing my 'inner soul-searching' type books. Its allowed me to branch out to focusing on books that can help me develop the skills needed to be efficiently productive on my business projects.

My current take on the 'humanness' side of things is that my personality has strengths that sometimes are extremely useful and other times distracts me from 'more businessy things'. My personality challenges can be useful at times and a real deadweight at other times.

Yet its like a project to me. Increase my productivity, yet read the flow of when its best to step back for a while.

Books on 'getting things done'; 'overcoming procrastination' so far haven't really managed in 'getting me to get things done'. I've read quite a few.

Recently I've realised that lack of inner reserves causes me to 'just get by'. That extra drive just isn't there. With my lifestyle of a few classes of teaching during the day, at times that allows me to sleep in late, its bred a habit of getting to bed really very late. This then causes sleep deprevation. I find even naps don't really help that much.

So I've been putting together a plan of taking care of my weekly sleep requirements. More physically active people generally require a bit more sleep. Also a pure uninterrupted sleep of 8 hours or so is best I find. I think I function best on 9 hours sleep.

I found when I do have about 5 days of good sleep I feel a different person. My drive to get things done is really there. That extra power to overcome a stubborn obstacle in a project is there. Its like cutting bread with a butter knife. If the loaf contains a really fresh tough crust the butter knife is useless. Whereas a super sharp efficient bread knife still has to work a bit but does so with a lot less effort. I actually own 3 brilliant bread knives. I happened to be in a Beales at the right time when a special offer with demo was on. The knives are still as sharp as when first bought 5 years ago.

I guess when one doesn't find enough answers in the books read then perhaps a book can be written. If one finds answers then its an opportunity to express yourself.

Relationships in the 'beingness' state

Finding my inner being and the surrounding relationships.

Being in a turbulent marriage hasn't been easy. From October last year #connecting# to my 'single beingness' as I describe it, I have been able to see the difference in how I manage my interactions.

What I noticed at first was as each month passed I was less effected by the heated dialogues. My need to defend had diluted. Where appropriate I would explain my actions. However, I really noticed how the comments or the emotionally charged energy, only penetrated so far. As each month went by it became less and less of a trauma.

I was disappointed my 'change' hadn't affected my home life. In fact I would say it got worse, by a long shot.

Eventually I was left to say the following: ' I wish to live in a peaceful environment'. However, that might be achieved. That left it open-ended to leave or have the situation improve.

I posed that statement to myself a few months ago.

As I've said in previous posts, recently I have been drawn to returning to my meditations in a light, effortless manner.

Returning back has been most enjoyable.

Friendships......

About 2 months ago I was drawn to cultivating friendships first. I was really drawn to wanting a friendship first with my partner. Up to this point I would have to admit my priority was a close relationship.

Along this process of discovering 'how things unfold after a 'single beingness awakening' occurs, I wanted to not force any changes. No preconceived ideas of 'how I should evolve'.

So it was a genuine inner insight to be drawn to friendship with my partner.

Things have now changed...... but I guess its a bit too personal to elaborate. It might change again, it might get stronger.

Observing has been most interesting.

That's not to say I've been unaffected. I have. I've lost momentum on current projects. Its affected my subconscious. I find at times I am at a standstill. Yet still not too affected by it. Just sometimes mildly unsettled.

Yet I have maintained a super strong core. Untouched. My personality might be going through the mill but I have this inner knowing of who I 'really am'. Once again I'm using 'I' but only for the sake of convenience. A massive debate about 'I' could break out. We are so changeable even within a given day, locking down a permanent 'I' is impossible.

Friendship evolving into caring....

I'm not sure what came first. I think it was the caring. I've mentioned this in another post. But to recap, I noticed a few months ago I was developing a greater interest in people I mix with. I was more sensitive to their story, their troubles. I've always been a good listener. However, over the last few years I became a bit bored with a lot of people. Now I have returned to being more caring and its moved to a lovely place. Its light but caring. This is my first attempt to describe it. It feels like its just a new part of me. An addition to my being. Its not however, as I believe it used to be. Its shifted to a new 'way of being'.

What I find very interesting is that its not something that I particularly wish people to describe about me. I'm not setting out to become anything really. I'm just letting a process within me unfold and being an observer of that process.

Moving into stillness

I've read a lot of Osho books. I love the way he expresses himself.

I've read Stuart Wilde. A completely unique character and really interesting.

What strikes me about both these characters is that they say it as they want. Perhaps holding back information, but certainly not afraid to shake up the establishment in their viewpoints and lifestyle.

I've read several Zen books as well as Eckhart Tolle.

In the midst of a insatiable appetite for methods, guidelines, information and answers, I began a program of meditation.

I liked zen's simple directness. Stay with the breath. Let thoughts float in and out. Drift off - don't worry. Just return.

My personal preference is silence. No mantras - no music.

Usually late at night practices. Never more than 60 minutes.

Since last October 2008 my meditations have been no more than 30 minutes.

There has been a complete lack of a hunger and need to meditate.

Recently there has been what I describe as a gentle calling to return to some meditation. But not anything lengthy or long.

Eventually about 2 years ago I reached this state of completeness. I would initially focus on my lower abdomen, keeping it relaxed, observing the gentle ebb and flow of the effects of the breathing of my body. Eventually I would enter a state of consciousness that felt expanded. It was a complete feeling. I wasn't drawn to expanding more and more. I just reached a very complete level of expansion.

Last October 2008 I came across a book called Finding Reality: by Keith Loy.

I had my mixed feelings about the book which I wrote on a review on both usa and uk amazon web reviews. I took off my uk review as I didn't want my review affecting the business success of the author. The USA one seemed to receive a mixed response so I left it on there.

I then read some of the comments about the book by readers. One reviewer recommended a book by John Wheeler called Awakening to the Natural State

It was upon reading the 'search inside' that I came across the following(taken from my review of finding reality)

I would suggest reading the search the contents on John Wheelers book 'Awakening to the Natural State' the following is from the top paragraph on page 16

It says:

"The basic teaching is very simple, almost too simple. It is so simple the mind overlooks it. What I didn't realise was that it has nothing to do with reading, meditating, doing something, working something out, stilling the mind and so on. All these techniques are looking in the wrong direction. Nizargadatta Maharaj used to say 'Understanding is all'. In essence Bob was saying 'Right now in your direct experience see what your real nature is. What are you right now? What have you always been?' The thinking mind is useless for this because seeing or looking is not a conceptual function at all. It is more like seeing an apple in your hand. You just look not think."

It was the very last two sentences that clicked for me. My search was complete. I had arrived.

What I realised was that for months I was just content to sit in the above mentioned expanded state. I was really content. The reading that year was mainly for fun and knowledge. However, upon reading that little thing it all #connected#. I realised that state was the eternal beingness.

That state can go into so many directions. It doesn't matter. What counts is your awareness of the 'beingness'.

...............................................

I never finished John's book. Whenever I'd try read some more it just seemed to be re-answering what I already knew.

Every book I have read since on this subject has left me struggling to finish it. Why? The reason is there is nothing further really to read on the subject of reaching the 'enlightened state'.

I've had a look about for books on after the enlightened state but not found one. So eventually I realised that actually I really didn't care any more. I realised I was in some personality loop of continued reading and seeking. It was a reflex habit.

I now dip into some old books I've had but never finished on Zen. One I tried was The Zen Teaching of Hung Po on the Transmission of Mind.

Its a great book. However, page after page I found he was telling people to drop all the rituals and just focus on being. Even all those centuries ago a man had taken this physically long journey to get some answers. Walking for thousands of miles to find certain teachers in China.

What did interest me and confirmed my thoughts really about my reasons for this blog was he went into retreat for about 10-15 years. To connect the two. His inner being and his personality. To see how they are one really. Its a refining process.

Baring in mind in those days Monks were full time. So that was without family, internet, telly, amazon books etc. A direct transmission from a master. Yet over a decade to adjust into the fusion.

So I am a mere fledgling really. But the fusion for me is just for fun. An observational study.

That's not to say without feelings.

One year on from Finding my quiet space

One of my thoughts after I found my quiet place October 2008 was to document my experience after that time.

Often I found reading about 'after enlightenment' that the writer was writing their thoughts years and years after the point of 'finding their home'.

So what I found was that after years of refinement and natural change the person was in a totally mature place.

However, there was most likely a process of evolution in their path to maturity.

Becoming aware of 'single beingness' is one thing. Having your personality and ego carry on as normal is quite another.

I have found that there was a misconception within me that once one reached a point of 'single beingness' one would become a radically changed individual.

The saying 'before enlightenment: chop wood. After enlightenment: chop wood', is so true. Yet there is really a profound difference really. However, one could pick this all apart and say that their really isn't because ''single beingness' was always there.

I choose not to worry about picking it all apart because it makes it become a riddle. Personally I have no intention of trying to sound too clever.

There is one point I'd like to make and its this: one really has to show a great willingness to want to know this 'single beingness'. The effort made although seems pointless is important.

Should it all not become that important then its not. Simple. To some its really important. For me it was a 'goal' that I set to achieve just that in this lifetime or at least try my best.

I don't know how many times I've read don't try so hard. Don't make goals. Personally I think that is just confusing. Set the goal, go after it and then if successful you'll know it probably wasn't something that could become a trophy.

I find I have the following feeling. My true single beingness is there at all times within me. At times I might be completely in my head, not aware, not present just absorbed in something. Yet I know that it just doesn't matter if I am. I know how to reach my core within seconds and it will be there for the rest of my life. And beyond? Don't really care is my current answer to that.

I have found I still experience all of life's ups and downs, emotional roller-coaster rides and all. Yet somehow there is a difference. I've also seen that as each month passes I become more refined in my interactions with life. There is a gradual maturity going on.

In the last few months I've found a natural caring side of me become more noticable. I have a genuine interest to be caring. Its not false.

This leads me on to say that for the whole year I just wanted to evolve naturally. No preconceived ideas on how I should be or become. Certainly there is no saintliness that suddenly appeared overnight. I just wanted to see whether I would naturally evolve or not. Also to see if there was a gravitation to a certain way of living.

In the last few months I have in a way shied away from moving into stillness. I naturally identified it as a worry that I wouldn't carry on with my current goals if I pursued this. I now see its totally irrational but there it is. So an insight occurred, which I've found happens quite a lot but in the most gentle of manners.

So I have very recently moved back into regular visits to my 'single beingness'. Its most enjoyable in the most gentlest of ways. It also seems the world around me responds to my increased time spent in stillness.

more to come......

Finding the quiet space

Having spent a tremendous amount of time searching for 'something intangible', I have reached a point of satisfaction.

Mixing part zen, part non-duality I found something that eventually broke through.

To pass this place of space onto others I have found it useful to use Simple Qi Gong movements.

Taking people to the quiet place in my group classes offers a non-verbal transmission of the quiet place.

However, I have still found that there is a certain difficulty in expressing the most natural presence that we can all tap into at will.

For this space to become the treasured place it truly is, one has to first believe they have reached that place of eternal tranquillity.

I find this is where it kind of breaks down in my transmissions. How can anyone transmit a sense of eternal being to another? One can only give a few tips and guidelines but ultimately the individual has to feel they have arrived in that place.

I am content to just take my classes on a journey of silence and breath. I don't push it. I just gently offer an indication of what's out there and what's possible. Also importantly to point out differences of state of consciousness while doing the same exercise.

more to follow.....