Moving into stillness

I've read a lot of Osho books. I love the way he expresses himself.

I've read Stuart Wilde. A completely unique character and really interesting.

What strikes me about both these characters is that they say it as they want. Perhaps holding back information, but certainly not afraid to shake up the establishment in their viewpoints and lifestyle.

I've read several Zen books as well as Eckhart Tolle.

In the midst of a insatiable appetite for methods, guidelines, information and answers, I began a program of meditation.

I liked zen's simple directness. Stay with the breath. Let thoughts float in and out. Drift off - don't worry. Just return.

My personal preference is silence. No mantras - no music.

Usually late at night practices. Never more than 60 minutes.

Since last October 2008 my meditations have been no more than 30 minutes.

There has been a complete lack of a hunger and need to meditate.

Recently there has been what I describe as a gentle calling to return to some meditation. But not anything lengthy or long.

Eventually about 2 years ago I reached this state of completeness. I would initially focus on my lower abdomen, keeping it relaxed, observing the gentle ebb and flow of the effects of the breathing of my body. Eventually I would enter a state of consciousness that felt expanded. It was a complete feeling. I wasn't drawn to expanding more and more. I just reached a very complete level of expansion.

Last October 2008 I came across a book called Finding Reality: by Keith Loy.

I had my mixed feelings about the book which I wrote on a review on both usa and uk amazon web reviews. I took off my uk review as I didn't want my review affecting the business success of the author. The USA one seemed to receive a mixed response so I left it on there.

I then read some of the comments about the book by readers. One reviewer recommended a book by John Wheeler called Awakening to the Natural State

It was upon reading the 'search inside' that I came across the following(taken from my review of finding reality)

I would suggest reading the search the contents on John Wheelers book 'Awakening to the Natural State' the following is from the top paragraph on page 16

It says:

"The basic teaching is very simple, almost too simple. It is so simple the mind overlooks it. What I didn't realise was that it has nothing to do with reading, meditating, doing something, working something out, stilling the mind and so on. All these techniques are looking in the wrong direction. Nizargadatta Maharaj used to say 'Understanding is all'. In essence Bob was saying 'Right now in your direct experience see what your real nature is. What are you right now? What have you always been?' The thinking mind is useless for this because seeing or looking is not a conceptual function at all. It is more like seeing an apple in your hand. You just look not think."

It was the very last two sentences that clicked for me. My search was complete. I had arrived.

What I realised was that for months I was just content to sit in the above mentioned expanded state. I was really content. The reading that year was mainly for fun and knowledge. However, upon reading that little thing it all #connected#. I realised that state was the eternal beingness.

That state can go into so many directions. It doesn't matter. What counts is your awareness of the 'beingness'.

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I never finished John's book. Whenever I'd try read some more it just seemed to be re-answering what I already knew.

Every book I have read since on this subject has left me struggling to finish it. Why? The reason is there is nothing further really to read on the subject of reaching the 'enlightened state'.

I've had a look about for books on after the enlightened state but not found one. So eventually I realised that actually I really didn't care any more. I realised I was in some personality loop of continued reading and seeking. It was a reflex habit.

I now dip into some old books I've had but never finished on Zen. One I tried was The Zen Teaching of Hung Po on the Transmission of Mind.

Its a great book. However, page after page I found he was telling people to drop all the rituals and just focus on being. Even all those centuries ago a man had taken this physically long journey to get some answers. Walking for thousands of miles to find certain teachers in China.

What did interest me and confirmed my thoughts really about my reasons for this blog was he went into retreat for about 10-15 years. To connect the two. His inner being and his personality. To see how they are one really. Its a refining process.

Baring in mind in those days Monks were full time. So that was without family, internet, telly, amazon books etc. A direct transmission from a master. Yet over a decade to adjust into the fusion.

So I am a mere fledgling really. But the fusion for me is just for fun. An observational study.

That's not to say without feelings.